Missionary Focus: Jessica Johns

Each month, we plan to zoom in on a specific area in the world our global God is working and highlighting the lives of those He’s chosen to serve there. Starting with Jessica Johns who beautifully and genuinely shares with us what life is like for her as a 27-year-old woman living out her calling to love the beautiful people of Uganda. Her words are rich, genuine and full of wisdom as she shares with us how she made the move to Uganda, what she’s learning now and how she’s grown to love the mission field she’s been given.

Hi Jessica! Thanks for taking the time to hang out with us here at TFP! Can you take a second to tell us about yourself?

Lovely ladies of The Front Porch, it’s nice to meet each of you! My name is Jessica and I’m a 27­ year­ old self-­confessed addict of adjectives. I’m a physical native of Hershey, Pennsylvania,­ “the sweetest place on earth”, ­ where Chocolate Avenue and Cocoa Avenue form the main intersection of town. Our air smells like chocolate, and we have street lights shaped like Hershey Kisses. It’s a bit magical and I love it. My heart, though, she’s always been Southern through and through. I (finally) crossed the Mason-Dixon for school and studied English Literature at the University of Tennessee. I’m the oldest of four children and a compulsive hugger. Red Velvet cake and I will always be best friends. I actually have a slight fear of anyone who isn’t a “dessert” person, and pink is my favorite color forever and ever, amen. My friends tell me that I’m the closest thing they’ve found to a real life Disney Princess, and I fully embrace whatever that means. I collect quirky coffee mugs and oversized sweaters, ­ a match made in “curl­-up­-with­-a-good-­book” heaven.

I’m currently a writer and an editor working for a nonprofit organization in Eastern Uganda. (And by working, I mean volunteering for free.) I’m nearly broke and more content than I ever imagined possible. I have a (maybe a bit overly) tender and feeling heart that continues to get mushier and mushier with each baby I cuddle, each thunderstorm I sit through, and each blessed moment with the Lord I get to walk in.

Where do you live now?

Since January of 2015, I have lived in the wonderfully hot and magically dust­-covered city of Mbale, Uganda. Located in the Eastern region of the country, Mbale is the sixth largest town in all of Uganda. It hosts roughly 84,000 inhabitants ­all of different tribes, background and languages. It’s undoubtedly the most gorgeous and challenging place I have ever lived. The fresh Ugandan pineapple will reel you in, and the people will keep you there. I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever leave.

What led you to that specific place?

In the spirit of full transparency, my life has been messy. It seems to have been a lot of years of crawling on and a crawling off of the “altar of self”. My heart has belonged to Jesus since I was young, but like the hymn so eloquently says, I’m one who’s “prone to wander”. I’ve spent years and years of my life trying to run ahead of Jesus on the path that He’s set out for me. I’m not sure if it’s that I start to believe I know better than Him or I just get tired of waiting for His footsteps to match the pace I try to step, but this foolish heart of mine has had to endure a few falls over the years. But He continues to pick me up again and guide my feet to the next step, ­and they’ve all led me to this exact place for this exact time.

In 2014, after moving home back home to Pennsylvania (where I said I’d never live) I found myself working for a publishing company and totally miserable. Publishing was the path that I had envisioned for myself, and so realizing it was the wrong one was pretty traumatic. Throw in a dash of “family dysfunction”, a pinch of “no friends” along with the reality that I wasn’t walking very closely with the Lord, and you end up with the perfect recipe for disaster. For me, this looked like an eating disorder. In a season where I so desperately wanted to be able to control the outcome of my circumstances, ­to build for myself the life that I had dreamed of, but couldn’t, ­ controlling what was on my plate became a substitute obsession. It quickly spiraled out of control, and I lost weight rapidly. I only give you this piece of background information because it’s vitally important to understanding where my heart was at during this time in my life. Being the girl who generally makes wise decisions, seeing myself cloaked in the shame and fear of my eating disorder was also the first time I remember truly understanding how desperately I needed grace, and how essential the Lord was in my life. I had no idea how to solve any of my problems without Him. I needed to be delivered, and He did that for me.

At the very beginning of my recovery process, I started working for an organization called CURE International. CURE is a nonprofit seeking “to heal the sick and proclaim the Kingdom of God”. CURE has pediatric specialty hospitals in 10 countries around the world, and Uganda is one of them. It’s a place full of the most wonderful people who welcomed me into their family and sacrificially loved me when I was extremely unlovable. That job changed my life in more ways than one.

Six months after I began working for CURE, I bought a plane ticket on a bit of a whim. I wanted to see the healing that was taking place at our hospitals, the healing that I was working toward. CURE Uganda is located in Mbale and treats children and babies suffering from life ­threatening conditions such as spina bifida and hydrocephalus. I knew I had to go there and to hold those little squirming bodies with the really large heads. I knew I had to go there and look into the eyes of the women who were giving up everything to try and find relief for their suffering children. I knew I had to go, and so I did.

Honestly, the minute I got off of the plane I knew that I was in trouble. That was it. That was my moment, my inciting incident. When I shuffled out of the airport with my embarrassingly oversized and unnecessarily overstuffed bags, I walked out of “the doorway through which I couldn’t return...” into the long anticipated, blissfully dust­-filled, Ugandan warmth. My story took care of the rest. I expected my time at the hospital would change me. And it did – demurely, quietly, faithfully. With each mother, each sick baby and each fellow struggler I met, I realized that in the shadow of the cross, we’re all the same – fragile, beautiful humans, cut from the same cloth by the same God. Every single one of us is poor; I just have more stuff. And this heart of mine that had been so carefully wrapped up in a selfish sickness, happy hobbies and little luxuries was suddenly exposed. And, it was broken. Because just as C.S Lewis says, “To love is to be vulnerable,” and when you look into the eyes of a stranger but see the face of Jesus staring back at you, love is the only option. I cried the entire 24-hour flight home. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see and hear was Jesus asking, “[Jessica] Do you love me?” To which my heart said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” “Then feed my sheep,” He would say. (John 21:17) And so, I listened. I quit my job. I moved out of my apartment. I bought another plane ticket and I’ve been living and loving in Mbale ever since.

What was your journey like in moving and adjusting to your new place of ministry?

Jesus really is so gracious. My move was so much easier than it should have been. In truth, I was expecting to struggle with the adjustment, to the slower pace of life, to living without a car or reliable electricity. But the actual nuts and bolts of life in Mbale are exactly why I fell in love with the city in the first place. I love that I get to shop in an open-air vegetable market and barter with ladies who still have dirt on their hands from pulling fresh veggies from the ground that very morning. I love sitting in my room and hearing the bugs and the birds and the barking dogs outside of my window as I try to drift to sleep. I love that the community is so small that everyone knows everyone and where to find anything that you need, even a sweet Indian grandmother who will thread your eyebrows for less that $2 US dollars.

The pace of life is slow, and it’s sweet. And it’s been joyously welcome. I work with an organization called JENGA which is full of dedicated Ugandans who have dedicated their lives to being “Jesus with skin on” to their neighbors. In truth, most of them have sacrificed opportunities for higher salaries in order to accept jobs with JENGA ­ choosing service over self, loving others over living large. I’ve been with JENGA for a little over 9 months now, and I couldn’t be more enthralled with an organization. Honestly, our office is such an anomaly it almost doesn’t make sense in my brain. There is always laughing going on – always. We dance and we laugh and we sing. And that’s just what happens during work hours.... I’m telling you, this place is nuts in the absolute best way possible.

But don’t let all of these physical expressions of the joy of the Lord fool you. JENGA gets stuff done. We are classified as a CDO (community development outreach) organization working primarily in three different communities of Mbale. Namatala is a slum on the western side of the city and is made up of a mish­mosh of native tribes with dozens of different languages and dialects represented. JENGA is investing in their children through Bible Clubs, caring for their women with HIV/AIDS, mentoring their men, and providing opportunities for sustainable income. Mooni is a primarily Muslim community situated on the side of the Mount Wanale. JENGA has been faithfully working in Mooni for the last ten years, despite religious resistance. They have begun to see lives changed and hearts won thanks to the continued community development happening there including goat projects, fair trade coffee production, clean water projects, women’s craft groups and countless others. JENGA also works in Mosoto, an area of Mbale built around the production and distribution of alcohol. Alcoholism is the root of much corruption and darkness in the area. JENGA is working to combat it – to bring light to Mosoto.

Aside from the above listed projects, JENGA also works with local schools, provides spiritual and physical assistance to the neediest patients of the government hospital, helps supply food and prayer to the malnutrition ward, and hosts the Alpha program in local secondary schools to train up student leaders and teach them the word of the Lord. We are present in all three communities with Women’s Savings and Loan groups. There are trainings being offered on sexual and reproductive health. Children are being sponsored to attend school. Goats are being raised and gifted to provide sustainable food supply and income for widows in the community. We partner with an organization that provides meals and a safe and loving place to rest, play and hear about Jesus for all of the children who live on the street. I could go on and on. And this is all happening with a staff of fewer than 40 people. I can’t. The Lord has absolutely poured His favor onto this organization. And He has gifted JENGA with some of the most genuine, kind hearted, spirit filled, on­fire, hard working individuals I have ever met – open hearts and open homes all around. I wouldn’t even believe this kind of generosity and support exists in human form if I hadn’t experienced it first­hand. I am surely humbled to be a part of this team. Jesus obviously wanted me here because adjusting hasn’t been even a little bit of a burden. It’s been nothing but blessed.

What was the hardest part of your transition?

The most challenging part of my transition has nothing to do with Uganda and everything to do with me. The hardest part of adjusting to life in a new place with new people has been knowing when to set boundaries and when to not. Satan has been really good at making me feel guilty for needing time to myself and to connect with the Lord when there are so many pressing needs in and around me. The needs are always increasing, and it’s impossible to ignore that fact. There are hard things – things that I have never had to encounter in my day-­to-­day life before. I’m not used to meeting starving people on every street corner with ribs and hips sticking out of their torn clothing. I’ve never walked through a hospital ward and watched bleeding and emaciated children lie in beds with exposed burns and sores. My heart and mind don’t really know how to assimilate the sights and the smells and the moments that are making up my days. What encouragement do you give neighbors who are selflessly caring for abandoned children as they barely scrape together enough to feed themselves one meal a day? What do you offer the dying for their pain? What do you tell a child who begs you for money so they can go to school? How do you choose to fill one need and turn your face from another? My human nature constantly wants to take control, to somehow “fix” everyone around me, ­to heal all of the sick, feed all of the hungry, help all of the hurting. But the thing is, that’s not always my job. Sometimes it is. Sometimes Jesus does want me to be the good news He sends to someone else. But other times, Jesus wants to do it without me. It took me months to learn to be okay with not having an overarching list of “things” Jesus wants from me or wants me to do. In reality, He’s already told me that all He wants is for me to love Him and to love people. I’ve just had to learn to trust the Holy Spirit to guide me in each individual circumstance as to what it means to “love” in that specific moment. And as I’ve finally begun to free my hands from carrying that responsibility and authority, they’ve been a lot more free to hold people and to really love them. Creating space for Jesus in my life is and will always be the most important thing. He is the wellspring through which I garner my endurance, my patience, my grace, my hope and my love. Workers often tire and quit, but a lover...well, a love never grows weary.

What were the unexpected blessings?

I think I imagined that my time in Mbale would look like me constantly pouring out ­pouring out resources, pouring out skills, pouring out love. And it absolutely has been that, but I’ve been unexpectedly poured into as well. As a long-­term missionary, I’ve had the chance to interact on a more personal level with both our Ugandan staff and short­-term missionary teams. I have been so unexpectedly blessed by each and every one of these interactions and relationships. Community is a stunningly beautiful picture of the Lord’s love for us. I have had the chance to see strength, to see kindness, to see empathy in new ways and through new eyes by spending time with people who would never have possibly crossed my path had I been living somewhere else, doing something else. Sometimes I just have to stop and laugh at the reality of the things the Lord is teaching me through other people. I have always had a love for relationships and for interdependence, but I think my time in Mbale has shown me that living with people and loving people is not only absolutely stunning and overwhelmingly messy but vital to the growth of my relationship with the Lord. I have been prayed and prophesied over. I have been held and hugged. I have been given gifts of both compassion and grace and my favorite protein bars. I never expected, when I moved to Mbale, to be on the receiving end of so much love.

What have you learned from being a full time missionary?

I’ve learned that there is no such thing as a missionary, or rather no such thing as a “calling” to be a missionary. As followers of Jesus, we are all called to live on mission all of the time. That means I am to love people the same, to sacrifice for them the same, to share the love of Jesus with them the same whether I am living in a village in Uganda, in a college town in Tennessee or the suburbs of Pennsylvania. I think that if God’s plan ever takes me back to my hometown, or anywhere else in the world for that matter, that I will choose to live a bit differently. It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in the grocery shopping and the gym that we miss the chances to give and to grow with the people around us. People are all poor, no matter where you go. Some of us just have more stuff. And whether or not we have money in the bank, food in the fridge and countless items of clothes to put on our bodies, our hearts are still exactly the same:­ dark and in desperate need of Jesus. I hope that, if nothing else, being a full­time missionary has taught me the urgency and the necessity of sharing what I have. Because what I have in Jesus...well, it changes everything.

How can we pray for you?

Any and every way possible that you can think of.­ I’d love prayer for more of the Holy Spirit, more discernment of the Father, more peace about my finances, more joy regardless of circumstance, more love to give. There is always, always, always more of God to receive, and I would love prayer for all of it.

Is there a way we can get involved?

Absolutely!

1. Like our page on Facebook. It will keep you up to date with JENGA news and prayer requests. (Plus, I’m the one who runs it. I’d love to see all of your pretty faces there!)

2. JENGA lives entirely by faith when it comes to finances. Oftentimes that means we are living month-­to-­month, praying for provision as we need it. We have never not had what we need, but that doesn’t mean we don’t welcome support for the work that we’re doing. There is an ever-increasing number of needs in Mbale. We are doing our best to ensure that the aid available is ever-increasing as well. We can’t do that without the support of friends from around the world.

3. Pray. This seems like the simplest request, but in my book (and in JENGA’s book), it’s the most important by a landslide.

A Day in the Life of Jessica

No day looks anything like the one before it, which I LOVE! But if I had to give an overview of life at JENGA, this would be a generic day:

6:30am­ - Sitting behind my handmade desk staring out at the gorgeous Mount Wanale. I read my Bible, talk with Jesus and eat porridge with peanut butter nearly every morning before work.

8am - Praising and worshiping with the JENGA team. There really is nothing better than African worship. It’s full of jumping and clapping and the joy of the Lord.

12pm - Getting ready to sit down to lunch hour ­normally containing some combination of beans, rice and another carb. Monday’s are my favorite days - sweet potato and beans. Yum. It’s a really sweet time of community where we all stop for an hour and enjoy the community that surrounds us.

3pm - Sitting down at my desk after a few hours out in the community ­working with the young moms or playing with the street children. The afternoons are time for me to pull together whatever social media postings, newsletter content or website updates I’ve been tasked with that week.

6pm­ - Practicing for Sunday’s service with my church community. I’ve found a church that I really love and have gotten quite involved with. I’m a member of the worship team, and we have practices most evenings. It’s a really sweet time to be together and to worship the Lord.

10:30pm­ - Touching base with my parents or friends at home before bedtime. The time difference makes it challenging, but before I crawl into bed each night, I try to touch base with one person whom I desperately love and miss. There really are so many of them.

To follow Jessica's blog, click here.