My Life is Not Mine



"You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price." 1 Corinthians 6:19b-20a

If you’re anything like me, you cringed when you read the title of this post. You may have even considered not reading it. I may have considered not writing it. However, as I prayed about what God would have me write, this is where I felt He was leading me. Maybe it’s because it feels like this has been a theme the last couple years of my life, but as I think about it, shouldn’t that always be the theme of my life if I’m a Christian? Let me explain.

As Christians, we are called to deny ourselves daily, abandoning our own desires and plans, to take up our crosses and follow God (Luke 9:23). The Bible tells us our lives are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and even says that Christ, the very One we aim to be like as Christians, gave up His own will to follow God’s plans above all else (Matthew 26:39).

I’m seeing this played out in the story of my marriage. My husband is not American. He didn’t even speak English when we met two and a half years ago. Time won’t allow for me to tell you our full love story now so you will have to take me at my word that I’m not crazy for venturing down this unusual path, and you will also just have to trust me when I say that the Holy Spirit has led us together and kept us together. God has amazing plans in this relationship, and while it’s unusual and probably the hardest adventure I’ve undertaken, it is also the one that is bringing and, I believe, will bring the most blessings in my life.

Okay, back to my point. Marrying an international brings a lot of unique challenges. My Mongolian husband is not only learning a new language (and doing an amazing job, I might add), but he is also learning a new culture -- the western world. There was a little bit of culture shock in just about any daily task. For instance, something as (seemingly) simple as a doctor’s visit means I need to go with him and help him fill out all the paperwork, explaining what all the words mean and what the doctor is saying when I don’t even know what some of those medical terms are myself. (They don’t exactly cover that in English class.)

That’s just one small example, but when I think about how hard it feels some days or how much self pity I have because I have to help him understand and do so much more than the average person, I get irritated at myself. How could I be so selfish that helping someone, someone I love very much, often feels like an inconvenience and frustration?

Then Christ reminds me I must die to myself and serve my husband. I imagine those of you with children know this on a whole other level. God gave me a gift when he gave me my husband. So just because I have to do a little more for him than the average newlywed wife as he’s learning and adjusting doesn’t mean that I should get worked up. Isn’t he doing far more by learning a new language and new culture? It’s all about perspective.

I never imagined any of this when I dreamed of being married. I’m sure you are in situations you never imagined as well. So, how do we lay down our own desires and ambitions and die to ourselves? The answer is simple: Christ in us. We live by faith (Galatians 2:20), but He gives us the power. We choose His way over our own, one day at a time (Luke 9:23). He gives us all the characteristics to die to ourselves through the fruit that comes from living in the power of His Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). But His Word not only says we have access to these fruits through His Spirit, but since we belong to Christ, we also have the power in Him to “crucify the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5:24). God has fully equipped us to forsake the life we thought was ours, and live it for Him and His glory. And it's all rooted in Christ.

Where do you need help in dying to yourself and surrendering to God’s will? The beauty in surrendering is that Christ does all the work; you just have to take that first step of letting Him have it. I encourage you to surrender to God today and ask His Spirit to empower you to do the rest. Will you get it right every time after that? No, but you are taking steps forward in the direction of Christlikeness. And isn’t that the whole point of any trial we face? Let’s move forward in His grace together today.

Sample prayer: God, I confess to you today that I don’t have the right attitude or perspective to do what You have called me to and that I can’t do it on my own. I need Your help. I pray, Holy Spirit, that You will empower me to live the life that You want and to die to my selfish desires. Thank You for the power to overcome that can only be found in You. Amen.


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Maira Gall