The new fashion trend of the “cold shoulder” top makes me giggle every time. Not because I don’t think it’s cute. Because its name is a “cold shoulder” top. What an unappealing name! I work with a lot of high school girls, and they love this trend. And it gets me. Every. Single. Time.
What I love about working with students is that their faith is often unbridled and their filter nonexistent. Working with them during a season of clinical depression has been so eye-opening. I love when I get to experience the “why” of a difficult season first hand. I feel like this is one of those seasons. While this season isn’t the most fun, God has opened doors, windows and even random air vents for me to have relationships with girls that are experiencing similar circumstances in order for His Truth to be revealed to both of us. They help me understand what I’m going through with their free words and emotions. They’ve helped me learn to cope by forcing me to be the voice of logic and access the Voice of Truth for their good.
The fact of the matter is that depression is becoming more widespread. Why? I have no idea. But it’s a factor of living in our broken, sinful world, and as women of faith, we need to learn to deal.
It really is the worst. I get it. Those of you going through a season of illness such as this, my heart truly goes to you. You feel trapped, maybe useless. These are all lies that have been fed to you, but right now they ensnare you in a way that is crippling. You’ve heard this a million times, but I’m going to tell you again. There is a warm shoulder waiting for you. He’s there for you to rest. There for you to cry. There for you to be you and still be loved as you are. He cries out to you these words:
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Isn’t that everything you crave in this season?! A light burden to me sounds like a dream. But in Him, it’s a reality.
We must surround ourselves with reminders of that daily. We must admit we need help. We must admit that we are falling, but we must be willing to let Him catch us and stop scratching at the walls of that deep hole hoping to pull ourselves back up in our own limited strength.
I’m a list maker, so in this circumstance I want to give you a list of things that have helped me. But I know you, Christian lady. You want to work for your happiness, and not let grace do its job. So when the list comes, tread lightly. Because the only thing that is truly going to allow you to be caught at the bottom of this freefall is dwelling with the One with the warm shoulder. That’s it. Just dwell with Him, constantly, consistently, joyfully.
Here are some things that have helped me:
1. Seek wisdom. Where?! In the longest love letter that’s ever been written -- God’s Word. My heart has craved love during this season. It has craved a place to belong as I am. Sometimes I have to force myself to dig into scripture, but once I get my mind right by getting lost in His abundant eloquencies, it helps. Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. But progress is progress. And I want Satan, his lies, and my own flesh to move further behind me everyday, even if it is just an inch at a time.
2. Seek help. It’s hard to bite the bullet and admit we need help. Mental illness has a stigma we want to keep at an arm’s distance. But cancer patients don’t administer chemotherapy to themselves. And right now there is a cancer living within you that is taking over, and it needs to be stopped with help from a professional. Don’t be embarrassed; be proud that you’re daring enough to push what culture says about you aside.
3. Seek a new norm. Life is going to be different. In some weird ways, I’m thankful for this season. The Lord has unveiled my eyes to a new depth of my faith and His faithfulness. I’ve learned more of who He is as my Sustainer. But I understand my life won’t ever be the same. And I know I have to take steps one day at a time. I often have to force myself to do things that used to fill me. But I also have to be willing to rest when I’m tired so I don’t explode. My life has a new normal. And that’s okay. As long as my adaptations continue to take me down a path of closeness with the Lord, I’m going to be okay. In fact, I’m going to be great.
I can’t wait for the day when my burden feels light again. But until then, I fall. I fall so that I can be caught again. I fall so that one day I can soar. I fall because, as Matthew 11:28-30 says, I learn. I learn more about who God is. I learn more about how He uses me to draw other people closer to Himself. I fall because I know without a shadow of a doubt that there’s a warm shoulder waiting for me at the bottom.
We want you to know how grateful and encouraged we are that you’ve joined us in this close-up look of a deeply personal and not-so-light topic. Our desire here at The Front Porch is to extend community, express everything with transparency, and show the hope of Christ in all that we do. If you struggle or know someone who struggles with depression or some other mental illness, let us pray for you. Leave a comment below or send us an email to let us know how we can encourage you through prayer. We want to be open arms for honest conversation because in that vulnerability, hurting hearts find hope.
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