Community: Let's Get Real Here

“Here’s to keeping secrets safe / wondering if I could change / cause when you’re hiding all alone / your heart can turn into a stone / but that’s not the way I want to go”  -Ellie Holcomb

For those of you that know me personally, I am not shy in the least. In fact, I could carry on a conversation with anyone effortlessly. The reality though is that I am just really good at talking about nothing... or sharing only the attractive parts of my life. I love listening to others open up and expose their personal realities, but I make it a mission to mask mine. The truth is that I prefer for folks to know the superficial me in cute outfits and makeup. I prefer to be thought of as always happy and successful, rather than sinful and broken. Even typing that last sentence sends a pang of uneasiness running through me, because I know just how true it is. And it’s not okay.

To be honest, I am anxious, way too tenderhearted and bent on people pleasing. I find it’s best to keep it surface-level where I can please everyone and continue in my comfortable little bubble. Translation: I feel that I am messed up, I fail too often, and I don’t measure up.  Those feelings inevitably lead to my response of closing up when it comes to the “real” stuff. It’s like always having to have my “spiritual” makeup on. I will let you see me, just after I have masked and blurred the imperfections, making all those dark spots and scars disappear under rosy pinks and sparkling highlights.

There were plenty of times where I decided to forgo the whole idea of this website. I didn’t like the idea of putting myself “out there” with no sure resolve that I would succeed. I didn’t want to annoy people when I talked too much about TFP. I didn’t want to burden any of the team members by asking for help. I didn’t want to talk about the hard things. I didn’t even pray about it sometimes, because I felt I gave God enough of my requests already. I knew this was not a God-honoring way to think, but it’s where I found myself. I felt my desires were burdens, and at that, they were too heavy for me to carry.

The Lord, in His perfect patience, kept pressing me on, though. I longed for community, real community. Not just for me, but also for any other woman who had ever felt the way I did. The Lord kept reminding me of the importance of creating a place where women could come and bring their whole selves -- messes, mistakes and all -- and still be completely loved. Isn’t that what we all want?

If anyone learned what real community was, it was the flawed group of disciples. From fighting over who would be the greatest in heaven, to Peter cutting off an official’s ear and denying Jesus three times, they were undone. In fact, Peter, James and John fell asleep during one of the most important prayers in all of history. Those guys, like myself, were a hot mess. Yet after all their shameful moments and failures, they still were able to walk with the Messiah and share meals with Him, never condemned, but accepted and loved.

I am so thankful we have the examples of the disciples. Jesus never once used their mistakes against them but turned them into opportunities for repentance and restoration. It’s the same for us --  Jesus never accepted our sins and never will. He died for them and then gave us His strength through the Holy Spirit to be free from them. Jesus expects transparency because that is imperative to the process of change. He knows He is working with imperfection, but He expects our real hearts, humble and not hiding, so that they might be conformed to Christ through His salvation.

The first part of Romans 15:5 says this: “May the God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with one another…” Complete harmony. That is community. I don’t believe that we can live in true, complete harmony until we decide to expose our hearts to one another -- never glorifying our sins, but glorifying the One who continually sets us free from those sins. It is then, humbly centered on Christ, when real community with our brothers and sisters can take place. Complete harmony - real community - is crucial because I am convinced that we will not make an impact for the Kingdom of God by walking alone. We need Jesus. We need each other. It’s how we were designed to operate.

The most beautiful thing is, once you admit your mess, need and dependence, Jesus always responds with grace. That is what I want to be all about. That is what The Front Porch is all about. Loving one another as we are, but not leaving each other that way. We will not excuse our sins, but we will confess them, move past them and dwell in the rich mercies of Christ walking alongside one another. We all want community, but we will only find it when we allow ourselves to come out of hiding, into the light with our fellow sojourners. None of us are perfect, and that reality unifies us before the Perfect One, Jesus. All of us want unconditional love, and that is what we’ll receive when we bring everything to Christ.

So while I know I will spend my entire life continually allowing the Lord to pry open my sinful heart, I hope you’ll be encouraged to know you are not alone. We are all here hoping that beautiful art comes out of our messes, so bring yours and join us while we watch Jesus make something great out of each of us.