A Vulnerable Heart

I stepped off the bus into a mob of smiling faces and open arms. I felt hugs around my waist and both arms being pulled in opposite directions. I wasn’t able to step forward due to the fact there were so many people surrounding me. I could only move enough to catch my footing while I was being shoved around in the midst of an excited crowd.

Contrary to what you might think by this description, I am not a celebrity. I didn’t get off the bus to a homecoming party from my loved ones. I was in Haiti, visiting orphans I had never met before.

What amazed me about the way the children received me was that they couldn’t care less that I was a stranger. They didn’t care what I did for a living, where I came from, or what I had accomplished. They saw someone that was just as excited to see them, whom they could trust, and they welcomed me with opened arms, excited to have a new friend. When they saw the bus come, they knew it was bringing love.

Now, several years later, I’ve been asking myself this question: When was the last time I approached life, and my Heavenly Father, in the same way these vulnerable, trusting kids approached me that day? It’s been a while. At the ripe old age of 28, I have had enough hurts and disappointments to learn that being vulnerable can often end up in pain. Yet, so had these children. They had seen death, abandonment, failed promises, broken families, and even their homes and land destroyed by a devastating earthquake. Still they trusted me, chose joy in the midst of unfortunate circumstances, and were willing to love without a promise that they would receive love in return.

Why? Because they are children. Children do not analyze situations until they are blue in the face. They don’t second guess their lives and circumstances, wondering what they could have done differently. They don’t harbor guilt and regret. They are kids, that respond to life resiliently. But then they grow up.

“Then he [Jesus] said, ‘Unless you turn from your sins, and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven’” (Matthew 18:3, NLT).

If that doesn’t stop you in your tracks, read it again. Jesus told adults to become like little children. I don’t know about you, but as a child, I looked forward to being an adult (although I never really graduated from the kids menu). I dreamed about what my adult years would look like, and I longed for independence. As an adult, I tend to think of being childlike as a bad thing, or an undoing of what I’ve worked so hard to become; however, being childlike from the perspective of Jesus was not a call to immaturity, but to dependence.

Our God has a heart for the vulnerable. He has called us to trust and humble ourselves like a child, becoming fully dependent on Him as provider and supplier of all we need. In fact, becoming dependent on the Lord as a child is essential to our salvation. Unfortunately, some of us have missed the rewards of salvation because of fear. The fear of being hurt again, someone not coming through, being let down, failing someone else, or the fear that we have no one to trust but ourselves. This kind of fear results in an unhealthy independence that leads to isolation. From the teaching of Jesus, this lack of dependence can cause you to miss out on heaven as well.

We must approach God as vulnerable children. Anything we think we are controlling is simply an illusion. Instead of grasping for every inch of power, control, and pride we can stand, if we will surrender and allow the Lord to carry us, like a father would His child, we will experience the anxiety-free rest of genuine salvation.

We all have that “thing” we’re afraid of exposing to God, ourselves, and others. The thing we can’t let go of. The thing we fear will happen. The thing we feel the intense need to micromanage and overthink. The thing that haunts us. The thing that keeps reinforcing the walls that restrict our view of God. What if we simply laid that “thing” at the feet of Jesus? No more asking questions, no more over-analyzing, just letting it go and not picking it back up again. What if we really opened ourselves up, showed Him our weakness, deep fears, and trusted Him with our broken hearts? What if we ran to the Lord as dependent orphans looking for love?

Enough of the “what if” questions, these are “must do” imperatives of the Christian faith.

One of the many beautiful things about our Lord is that he receives the vulnerable and does not reject the broken (Psalm 51:17). When we admit our need, Jesus meets us with His mercy and love. You will never humble yourself to the Lord and be denied. His heart is for the needy, the vulnerable, the broken, and the child.

We all know children are crazy, messy, and need continual attention, love, and correction, but God is a good Father. God will not misuse your heart or waste your pain. With God, your vulnerability before Him is not a risk of getting hurt. The risk comes when we strive to be independent from God’s control. On the other hand, your vulnerability before Him opens your heart to receive fatherly love and supernatural healing.

Trust Him today, put aside your pride, and be vulnerable. I promise, your humility will be met with an overwhelming gift of mercy. Cast your cares upon the Lord and live freely, knowing you have nothing to worry about. Your heavenly Father is in control. He will protect you and will never let you go. He is for you.   

“The LORD protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me. Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me.” Psalm 116:6-7